My ex-father in law would always tell me that in America you will be successful.......What he didn't tell me is that in America, everything comes with a price as well!
I left Manila because I just got sick of what was happening. I was confident that with my experience and being married to a Filipino-American, adjusting will be easy. I had enough money saved, and my then wife and I, just jumped!.........Was I wrong! It never occured to me that coming to America will be such a nightmare! First, it took me a year to get my Green Card. Second, cash is KING in these parts, and what money we had left was vanishing in a very fast pace. Lastly, my confidence flew out the window, and I was lost!
I was the General Manager of a Global Company at the age of 30. The youngest in the whole organization...........I would have dinners with people twice my age in the best restaurants, and would travel all over Asia.......next thing I knew, I was computing if I can eat in McDo or watch a movie. I remember having sleepless nights.....being so helpless.
My first job was a Customer Service Associate for AT&T Wireless. In short, sa call center nila. I was being trained together with people who does not even know how to speak English properly. Medyo malabo yata if I stay, and make it a career. I decided to go to Grad. School!
In Grad. School I started re-gaining my confidence because I was up against people that were driven. My goal was to finish early and get a job. My then wife was climbing up the corporate world of fashion in NYC. Oh Yes, the shoe was definitely shifting to the other foot!
I remember when we would attend functions, I would feel inferior because my wife was the one working, and I was just a Grad. Student. Linunok ko lahat.......and it fueled me to strive harder. Sadly, on the night of Dec.18,05...she dropped the bomb! You guys know what happened next. FYI, my divorce went through, and I am actually single again.
In Jan.06 I literally had $94.00 to my name. Puta! hindi ko makakalimutan yon!!! I lost my savings, my house, and my wife in a blink of an eye!!! I remember scavenging for coins in my Jeep so that I know exacly how much I had because to go to NYC for interviews will cost me a lot. I remember I bought a yoga mat and a sleeping bag (both on sale) in Target.....total of $16.00. Every night I would read the book Kuya Franco gave me and pray the Novena from Sylvia. I would go to Church everyday and pray really hard.
Going to interviews was another challenge. I had to sell myself, and make them feel that I am the best one for the job.....despite of what I was going through! My then wife was really out to destroy me....with no concience at all. She did not care what happened to me.....she was out for blood and I was a fool!!! When the first offer came, I grabbed it! I told myself na Puta!.....kakayanin ko to! I would spend 10-12 hours a day at work, often volunteering for extra stuff. My boss even asked jokingly if I go home?? In short, buhay ko na yon!.......I would wake up at 6am leave my Kuya's house by 6:30 be at work around 8:30......and leave past 7pm.
Sa awa ng Diyos, nakaraos na din! My confidence is back, but in a more subtle way. I will move forward but I will always remember, so that I will not make the same mistakes. I lost a lot here. All I wanted was to have a more stable life. I guess one day I will know the reason why. ..........mine is another story of life in America.
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2 comments:
Being able to recount all of these and coming to some major realizations is a step towards the right direction. Best of luck Pigok!
everything that happened to us just made us more resilient. i admire the way you continue to pick yourself up and move on.
maybe you can think more about the lessons you have learned during these hard times and re-arrange your perspective.
ate
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